Politicans for Sale

A billionaire was on his way to his Manhattan penthouse after a business trip to Aruba. Through the dark-tinted glass of his limousine, he spotted something very strange at the curbside. It was an odd looking vending machine with a sign on it that read POLITICIANS FOR SALE.

There was a parking spot next to the machine that was marked RESERVED PARKING FOR VENDING MACHINE USE ONLY – LIMIT 10 MINUTES. The limousine was nearly past the spot already. The rich man instructed his driver to circle around the block and come back to the vending machine.

When the car was stopped at the curb alongside of the vending machine, a touch screen lit up with two choices. One read PRESS FOR INSTRUCTIONS TO PURCHASE A POLITICIAN. The other choice read simply CANCEL. The rich man was not about to cancel at this point. He was insanely curious if there was really an easy way to buy a politician.

The screen was within reach of the rich man’s seat in his limousine. He put down the car window and pressed for instructions. The next screen read FOR YOUR PRIVACY AND SECURITY YOU MUST ACCEPT A SHROUD OVER YOU AND YOUR VEHICLE. The choices read ACCEPT and DECLINE.

When the rich man pressed ACCEPT, there was noise of machinery moving as a huge shroud rose out of the pavement in a perimeter around the area and covered the limousine and vending machine. There was distinct sound of latching when the shroud secured at the top. The screen lit up.

You will have offers to purchase politicians at various levels of government.  After completing each purchase you will be given the option to upgrade. Upgrades will cancel the previous purchase. NO REFUNDS OR CREDITS WILL BE GIVEN.  All deposits on a previous purchase are automatically forfeited and cannot be applied to the next purchase whether you make the next level purchase or cancel.

Do you accept these terms? The rich man pressed YES.

The next screen was a menu that read:

CHOOSE A LEVEL OF GOVERNMENT FOR THE POLITICIAN THAT YOU WISH TO PURCHASE

MUNICIPAL LEVEL

COUNTY LEVEL

STATE LEVEL

NATIONAL LEVEL

The rich man did not want any small potatoes. He pressed NATIONAL LEVEL. The next three screens gathered the rich man’s name, personal information and banking information for transferring of funds to make a purchase.

The next screen read WHICH DO YOU WISH TO PURCHASE ON THE NATIONAL LEVEL?

SUPREME COURT JUDGE

LOBBYIST

REPRESENTATIVE OF THE HOUSE

SENATOR

The rich man did not need to think long. He had enough judges in his pocket already. He had more lobbyists than any rich man could ever want. He even owned a few House members and a couple of senators.

He pressed SENATOR. The rich man could always use another senator. The screen gave more choices.

LEVEL ONE SENATOR      $100,000

Will legislate to cut education and social programs to reduce your taxes.

LEVEL TWO SENATOR     $200,000

Will legislate to cut education, social programs and get huge tax breaks for you.

LEVEL THREE SENATOR  $300,000

Will legislate to cut education, social programs, get tax breaks for the wealthy, and reverse environmental restrictions.

LEVEL FOUR SENATOR   $400,000

Will legislate to cut education, social programs, get tax breaks for the wealthy, reverse environmental restrictions and relax trade barriers to allow exporting of jobs and import of cheap products with huge profit margins.

The rich man was glowing with greed. Owning a few level four senators could negate the need for expensive lobbyists and buying unpredictable judges. It was more than he could have imagined. He pressed LEVEL FOUR.

The next screen had a CONFIRM button and a SPECIAL OFFER button. For a total of only $1.5 million the rich man could have a total of five senators. He could not believe this deal as he accepted the offer.

The next screen had another CONFIRM button and, yet, another special offer. BUY A U.S.PRESIDENT. This was way beyond too good to be true but the rich man could not resist. A few senators were nothing compared to owning the president. He touched the screen.

A reminder and confirmation came up to tell the rich man that his deposit of $1.5 million for the five senators would be forfeited and would not be applied to the purchase of a president. The rich man snorted in amusement as he touched the CONFIRMATION.

The screen gave two choices of presidents.

INCUMBENT PRESIDENT                               $100 million

No promises but every possible pressure will be used to block anything that the incumbent tries to do that does not directly benefit the wealthy.

PRESIDENT ELECT                                           $10 billion

Guaranteed to be sympathetic to the wants of the wealthy, without regard to the whining of the liberal constituency. More than willing to start war with another country for control of natural resources and corporate profit of war materials.

There was no point to buying an incumbent. Besides, his term was nearly over. The best buy would be a president elect with strings attached to do the bidding of the rich man and his friends.

The rich man touched PRESIDENT ELECT. To his amazement there was yet another level available for purchase. A lifetime as member in the WORLD RULING ELITE was being offered for the one time dues fee of one-trillion dollars.

This offer slowed the rich man down somewhat. A trillion dollars was a lot of money, even for a rich bastard like him. There was a warning written in fine print with the WORLD RULING ELITE choice.

WARNING: The intent of the World Ruling Elite to claim all of the wealth and power of the world for themselves. The World Ruling Elite has no loyalty to nations, gods or races of people. There will eventually be mass casualties manifested in the form of common people as victims of starvation, pandemic, war and natural disaster. Those with a conscience should not make this purchase as you will, no doubt be haunted by your decision. It is not the intent of World Ruling Elite to allow the total extinction of the working class as some of them will be needed to serve us. Adequate crumbs will be thrown to the stronger among them in order that they might survive as loyal and dependable servants for the Elite.

The rich man read through the warning quickly. With no conscience to hold him he touched the button to purchase his membership. The screen flashed with a final message as if a casino jackpot had just been won.

Congratulations! You have just proven that there is no end to human greed and want of power.

For the reader who is looking for the ending or the punch line anticipated from what might have been perceived as an anecdote, this no joke. The problem is real. If you do not understand campaign finance reform, you are not alone. As a citizen, however, you should learn as much as you can and support only those of our political leaders who have not been bought nor can be bought in the future. We owe this to the future generations.

The system is broken.

Only grassroots activism will fix it.